JOKES IN URDU
JOKES IN ENGLISH
Sardarji Kidnapping a Child
A Sardar Ji was Living hand to Mouth. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you." Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid.Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
Signed: "A Sardarji". Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and Please leave my son."
Signed: Another Sardarji.
A LETTER TO GOD
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.The letter read:
"Dear God,I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check.Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.Can you please help me?
Sincerely,Emily"Dear God,I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check.Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.Can you please help me?
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.Christmas came and went.A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.It read:
"Dear God,How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office.
Sincerely,Emily
A Boy Talking with God
A man was praying to god. He said, "God?"
God responded, "Yes?"And the Guy said, "Can i ask a question?"
"Go right ahead", God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
The man wondered.
Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said,
"Sure... just a second
Isn't it Simple?
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me are doing basically the same work?"The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic ..... He said : "Try to do it when the engine is running".
Kids Letter to God
